Have you ever given or received a vague “maybe” when asked to make a commitment? While it might seem polite to avoid saying “no,” this lack of clarity can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism help me understand the value of being clear and intentional in our commitments—and how failing to do so can actually be disrespectful. In the book, it explains that we tend to do this to avoid popularity or community than a plain answer of no. We are social human beings and don’t want to be excluded or disliked. However, being direct is a being respectful. I am embarrassed that I am at fault here and am making a commitment now to try to eliminate vague commitments in the future. I want to make a decision of either yes or no and move on. Here are reasons we should not be vague:
Clarity Demonstrates Respect
When we give an unclear answer, we leave others guessing about our intentions. A vague response, such as “I’ll let you know,” often reflects indecision or a lack of prioritization. It’s not fair to others who may be depending on us for a definitive answer. Being clear, even if it means saying “no,” shows respect for their time and effort. It might seem awkward for the relationship at first but will be respected later.
A Clear "No" Is Kinder Than a Half-Hearted "Yes"
One of the most memorable lessons from Essentialism is learning to say "no" gracefully. McKeown reminds us that when we agree to something we’re not fully committed to, we risk over-committing ourselves. This can lead to resentment or poor follow-through, which harms our relationships and credibility. Saying “no” may feel uncomfortable, but it’s ultimately more considerate than giving a half-hearted “yes” or leaving someone hanging. I read this several times. It is true. Nothing is more frustrating when someone is expected and then decides at last minute to cancel. Things do happen but trying to eliminate over-committing in the first place should be practiced.
Prioritization Over Obligation
The book explains how being focused on what truly matters and say no to everything else. A vague commitment often stems from a desire to please everyone or avoid conflict. McKeown argues that when we prioritize based on obligation rather than importance, we lose sight of what’s essential. By committing only to what aligns with our values and goals, we preserve our energy and ensure we can show up fully for the things that matter most.
How to Be Respectfully Clear
Pause Before Responding: Take time to evaluate whether the request aligns with your priorities.
Communicate with Confidence: If it’s a “no,” express gratitude for the opportunity and clearly decline.
Avoid Over-Explaining: A simple, polite response is enough. You don’t need to justify your decision.
Final Thought
Being vague may feel like the path of least resistance, but it often creates more problems than it solves. Saying what you mean—whether it’s a confident “yes” or a firm “no”—respects your time, energy, and relationships.
The next time you’re tempted to give a vague response, pause and ask yourself: What’s the most respectful and essential thing I can do? Make a decision and move on!
Have a beautiful day!
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