As women over 50, we've had a lot of experience being self-critical and comparing ourselves with others. I was the queen of comparing myself to magazines, TV characters, and even friends. It put so much pressure on myself including my self-confidence. I learned a couple years ago in Psychology the power of confirmation bias and how I was proving to myself over and over with all my negative self-talk. Had I been telling myself things that were positive, it would been a little more productive. But, how many of you have ever said “oh, I am so good. I always seem to have my shit together (excuse my language but that is what I would say to myself….” Janie, get your shit together”). Yes, we all know that we tend never say good things to about our self to our self. Whether we realize it or not, our brains are constantly seeking evidence to prove whatever we tell ourselves. This phenomenon is known as confirmation bias, and it can significantly influence our perception of reality and shape our experiences.
In a more psychological way to explain; confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports our preexisting beliefs or hypotheses. It happens in legal areas where the investigator looks for evidence that they believe is true and ignores or misses the evidence that doesn’t support their belief. In simpler terms, our brains love to prove us right, even if our beliefs are not necessarily true or beneficial.
For example, if we tell ourselves that we're not good enough to start a new hobby or pursue a passion, our brain will actively look for evidence to support this belief. We might focus on past failures or compare ourselves to others, ignoring any evidence that contradicts this negative self-perception. I was always telling myself that I was not tech-savvy over and over. And, my brain was pointing it out daily. I am still working on more positive self-talk on this stuff LOL.
On the other hand, the good news is that if we tell ourselves that we're capable and deserving of happiness and success, our brain will seek out evidence to support this positive belief. We'll notice our strengths, accomplishments, and opportunities, reinforcing our belief in ourselves. In other words, if you want more of something, look for evidence of that something purposely. For instance, if you want to be healthier, keep giving your brain evidence! Fix a beautiful plate of fruit and enjoy.
Understanding confirmation bias is crucial because it can help us become more aware of the stories we tell ourselves. By recognizing that our brain is wired to seek out evidence to confirm our beliefs, we can take control of our thoughts and choose beliefs that empower us rather than limit us.
Here are a few strategies to harness the power of self-talk and overcome negative confirmation bias:
Challenge Your Beliefs: When you notice yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself if there's any real evidence to support those thoughts. Are there alternative explanations or perspectives you haven't considered? I like to say out loud a new thought and reasons why I am better than I say.
Focus on the Positive: Practice gratitude and focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Acknowledge the evidence that supports your positive beliefs about yourself.
By understanding how our brain seeks evidence to prove our beliefs are true, we can become more intentional about the stories we tell ourselves. Let's choose beliefs that empower us, inspire us, and help us live our best lives, no matter our age.
Practice today giving yourself praise for something you are good at. Then, watch your brain point out even more things. MAKE THEM POSITIVE!
You got this. Let’s be better today than yesterday!
Having fun with my cute little nephews!
Janie
Comentarios